INTRODUCTION
In this DIRECTORY you'll see
Just what you never ought to be;
And so, it should Direct your way
To Good Behavior, every day.
The children of whose faults I tell
Are known by other names, as well,
So see that you aren't in this group
Of Naughty Ones. Don't be a Goop!

 


MARMADUKE ARGYLL
Talking while Eating
 A Goop that always makes me smile
Is this one: Marmaduke Argyll.
His mouth is full from cheek to cheek,
Why should he then attempt to speak?
It makes me smile, but still, the fact is,
It is a most unpleasant practice.


 
NANCY BEAL
Throwing Away Things
 On the sidewalk Nancy Beal
Throws her old banana peel;
Throws her apple skin and cores,
Right in front of people's doors!
Isn't that a shocking trick?
Ask that Goop to stop it, quick!


 
MASTER BILDAD
Selfish With Toys
 A puppy, when he gets a bone,
Will keep it for himself alone.
So Bildad would not share his toys
Or lend them to the other boys.
He was a Goop; and so are you
If you are ever selfish, too!


 
PERCY BINGG
In the Way
Percy Bingg, when he's at play,
Is almost always in the way;
In the room, or in the street,
Always under people's feet!
Goops like that annoy me so!
You keep out the way, I know!



BETSY BIRCH
Talking in Church
 Look at little Betsy Birch,
Always whispering in church!
Always playing with the books,
Never caring how she looks!
Never knowing Goops like her
Ought to neither talk nor stir!



LEVI BOING
Going Carelessly
 Are you a Goop, like Levi Boing?
He never looks where he is going;
He's always bumping into chairs,
And stumbling, when he goes upstairs;
He tips things over, bumps his nose.
He can't be careful, I suppose!


 
MARY C. C. CALL
Crying Continually
Mary Carey Cory Call—
Hear her cry and hear her bawl!
Hear her groan! Hear her growl!
Hear her moan!— Hear her howl!
She's the goopiest Goop of all,
Mary Carey Cory Call!


 
LITTLE CORALIE
Getting Feet Wet
 Though Coralie was small and sweet,
She always, always had wet feet.
She liked to walk through puddles; so,
She always had a cold, you know.
But as you aren't a Goop, you try
To keep your tootsies warm and dry.



ANDREW CROSSETT
Playing With Faucet
Have you heard how Andrew Crossett
Meddled with the water-faucet?
Letting water flood the sink?
Andrew was a Goop, I think;
Otherwise he would have known
He should let such things alone!


 
ANNABELLA DAY
Obeying Slowly
 How slow is Annabella Day!
She's so reluctant to obey!
She acts so sluggish and so sickly!
Oh, Anna, why not do it quickly?
Oh, Anna, do be prompt, and then,
No one will call you "Goop" again!



GWENDOLYN De V. De WITT
Sulking
Miss Gwendolyn De Vere De Witt
Is having such a sulky fit!
Because she couldn't have her way
With other children at their play.
A sulky Goop I really call
As bad as those who cry and bawl.


 
ADOLPHUS ELFINSTONE
Playing With Matches
Adolphus Elfinstone, of Nachez,
Thought it was fun to play with matches
Until the little Goop had learned
It hurt a lot when he got burned!
A little fire is queer and curious;
But soon it grows quite big and furious.


 
AMANDA FISH
Stealing Sweets
 If there's sugar in the dish,
Who will take it? Mandy Fish?
If there is a box of candy,
Just look out for little Mandy!
She goops the fruit, and leaves the peeling—
She calls it fun; I call it stealing!


 
FREDERICK FISHER
Not Eating Crusts
 Freddie Fisher fairly fussed
When he came to eat his crust!
Often on the floor he'd throw it,
Hoping mother wouldn't know it!
Goops all hate to eat the crust;
If you're told to, then you must!


 
EZRA HECHT
Not Listening to Mother
 What in the world would you expect
Of a Goop whose name was Ezra Hecht?
Of course he would refuse to heed
Or listen to his mother—yes indeed!
Of course he would. Of course he did.
But you must do what you are bid.


 
M. AND B. HOPPER
Restless While Dressing
 Mother always is distressed
If you fidget when you're dressed.
If you fidget like Miss Midget,
Hopper, or her sister Bridget.
Goops like that are so much bother,
That they ought to dress each other!


 
AMANDA M. JAMES
Calling Names
 Amanda Minnesinger James
She called her sister horrid names!
She called her brother names, as well,
So bad I wouldn't dare to tell!
It's shocking how a Goop will act!
They have no manners, that's a fact.


 
SUSIE KLEIN
Whining
When e'er I hear a puppy whine,
I always think of Susie Klein;
I think of how she hangs her head,
She doesn't speak— she whines, instead!
Don't whine! If you don't speak right out,
You are a Goop, without a doubt!



 
ROBERTO LEES
Teasing animals
 How thoughtless was Roberto Lees!
(For only thoughtless children tease).
He teased the little pussy cat,
He teased the puppy! Think of that!
He even teased his sister, too!
I think he was a Goop—don't you?


 
ANNIE A. LeGRAND
Lying and Fibbing
 The queerest Goop in all the land
Was Annie Annabelle LeGrand;
She often said what wasn't true—
Which is an awful thing to do!
But we are honest, you and I,
We think it's wrong to tell a lie!


 
MISS MACKADOO
Not answering
 This is a Goop— Miss Mackadoo;
She never speaks when spoken to.
When spoken to, she turns her eyes,
And never answers or replies.
She hangs her head and sucks her thumb—
You'd think that she was deaf and dumb!


 
ISABEL McCLUNG
Sticking out Tongue
 Do you ever stick your tongue
Out, like Isabel McClung?
No one but a Goop would show
Rudeness such as that, I know!
If you're good, take my advice;
Please don't do it! 'Tisn't nice.


 
ALEXANDER B. McGIFF
Not Wiping Nose
 Young Alexander B. McGiff
Each day had a clean handkerchief.
In spite of this, if you'll believe,
He wiped his nose upon his sleeve!
Nobody but a Goop would do it;
His mother'd scold him, if she knew it.


 
ELIAS E. McGUFF
Rough and Rude
 Elias Ethelbert McGuff,
Oh, he was rude and he was rough!
He used to pinch, he used to poke,
And called his rudeness just a joke.
What made him plague his playmates so?
He was a Goop and didn't know!


 
SOLOMON McKIM
Scuffing Feet
 I wonder if you ever meet
The Goop who always scuffs his feet?
He makes them drag along the floor
As if they weighed a ton or more.
Just think of Solomon McKim,
And don't be slovenly like him!


 
JOHN D. PELL
Ordering People
 When John D. Pell wants something done,
D'you think he asks of anyone?
Oh, no! He orders someone to,
With "Get my hat!" or, "Tie my shoe!"
The Goops all say rude things like these,
But you, of course, say, "If you please!"


 
ESAU POUND
Leaving Things Around
 When you're finished with your play,
Do you put your toys away?
Do you put away your hat,
And your coat, and things like that?
Or, are you like Esau Pound?
He's the Goop who leaves things 'round!


 
ELIZA PUDDINGFOOT
Cheating at Play
If you should ask why Rosamund
Eliza Puddingfoot was shunned,
I'd say, because she'd always cheat
In every game, so she could beat.
Only a Goop would act that way
And be dishonest in her play.


 
AMELIA PRATT
Saying "I Won't"
 "I won't!" says young Amelia Pratt;
"I won't do this!" "I won't do that!"
Now isn't "won't" the naughtiest word
That anyone has ever heard?
Now isn't that the rudest way
A Goop could answer? I should say!



 
JUMBO RAY
Snatching Toys
 No children ever like to play
With such a Goop as Jumbo Ray.
For he will snatch and grab the toys
Of all the little girls and boys.
Though Jumbo loves to fuss and fight,
You know, of course, it isn't right.


 
ANNIE F. R. RIFF
Snuffling and Sniffling
 Annie Fanny Ruffle Riff;
Hear her snuffle! Hear her sniff!
Hear her sniffle! Hear her snuff!—
See her—well, I've said enough.
You have seen her, I suppose,
The Goop who seldom blows her nose?


 
FELICIA ROPPS
Handling Things
 Funny, how Felicia Ropps
Always handles things in shops!
Always pinching, always poking,
Alwyas feeling, always stroking
Things she has no right to touch!
Goops like that annoy me much!


 
PERCIVAL B. SLOOP
Picking Nose
 Just look at Percival B. Sloop,
A most unpleasant sort of Goop;
He pokes his fingers in his nose
And wipes his hands upon his clothes;
He does a lot of things that you,
I know, would never, never do!


 
SUSIE SMALT
Blaming Others
 "Oh," says little Susie Smalt,
"It is someone else's fault!"
"She began it!" "She's to blame!"
"She's the one that spoiled the game!"
So Goops always blame each other;
Do you own up your fault to Mother?


 
SPERRY SPROOKS
Tearing Books
 Have you ever chanced to look
At a torn and dirty book?
At a book that's ragged, soiled,
Inked and finger- marked and spoiled?
Who has done it? Sperry Sprooks!
He's the Goop that spoils the books!


 
URIAH STEAD
Not Going to Bed
I never saw Uriah Stead
When he was glad to go to bed.
There always was one thing to do
Before he could take off a shoe!
The little Goop was always late;
I hope you don't pro-cras-ti-nate!


 
ROSIE L. V. TROOD
Playing With Food
Rosie Lily Violet Trood,
Always messes with her food;
Always plays with her potatoes,
Meat and gravy and tomatoes!
Callers, who are asked to dine,
Knowing she's a Goop, decline!